...in a hand basket

Want to know the quickest way to go to hell? Agree to assist your friend write a scathing book review on a book that was written by a 13 year old girl with Cerebral Palsy, a blood disorder and a limp arm she appropriately named Lyn. The book was called ‘Just An Ordinary Kid’ and it was written in 1986/7 by a young New Zealander named Lisa Vasil.

The book is the story of her efforts to just be ‘an ordinary kid’ despite her disabilities and to have other people see her as that, rather than someone ‘special’. Although the book is about her experiences she names the main character, herself, Carol. Why? Who the heck knows! My friend had to write this book review for a University paper. She was given a list of books to choose from and she picked this literary equivalent to processed cheese because it was and I quote “the one with the least amount of pages”.

The book is atrocious, but of course it is, it is written by a first time writer who just happens to be 13 and who lives in a thesaurus and takes foreshadowing to places no one has ever dared venture before. Every single chapter ended with this kind of nonsense: “I was happy Lyn, my dead arm, didn’t have an episode and embarrass me, but little did I know about what was to happen next.” There was nothing likeable about this girl and in fact, the photo on the book jacket just made me want to hit her.

So how can I criticize a 13 year old, first time writer with Cerebal Palsy, a blood disorder and a limp arm named Lyn who has written the worst book I have ever read, without going to hell? It’s not possible, but I take comfort in the fact that my friend will be there with me. HA!