A Plea

This is the first year I've worked in a ‘retail’ situation around Christmas time. To say our store is hectic would be like saying Paris Hilton is an idiot – huge (and obvious) understatement. When the doors swing open at 10am, I am not kidding when I compare it to a stampede of hungry hungry hippos with money to spend. There are nice ones and rude ones, stupid ones and lazy ones, patient ones and demanding ones and of course the ones who come in and say “I am looking for this book. I don’t know the author or the title or what it is about but I know the cover is red and may or may not contain the letter D on it.”

I think the customer I enjoy helping the least is the guy with no idea why he is in a bookstore other than he was told to go there. He falls under one or more of these categories:
Husband
Father
Son
Brother
Boyfriend

He mindlessly schleps his way around the store, eyes vacant, hands in pockets and usually ends up in the transportation or sports section – it is a safe haven where he can feel comfortable with the other 11 men standing there avoiding shopping for the women in their life. I have often found these guys standing in the cookbook section just staring at the rows of books. They look worried and when I ask if I can assist them in finding something, the generic response is: “I have no idea.”
I ask “Who is your wife’s/daughter’s/sister’s/girlfriend’s favorite author?” and the response is: “I have no idea.”
I ask “What type of books does your wife/daughter/sister/girlfriend read?” and the response is: “I have no idea.”
I ask "What is your wife/daughter/sister/girlfriend interested in?" and the response is: "I have no idea."
I ask “Why are you in here?” and the response is……………”I have no idea.”

Women, please, for the love of customer service schmucks everywhere, PLEASE send your man to the store with a list. He got off the couch; he drove to the store; he found a parking spot and he made his way into the building. His mind has been taxed! Give the poor bastard a break and give him a clue as to what you want. I cannot take one more ‘deer caught in the headlights’ look from another male customer. It is sad and until I am given the ok to empty a rifle into their dumbasses I have to be of assistance. So please help a sister out!