The Impossibility Of It All

So I took down the indoor Christmas lights yesterday. It pained me to do so. I enjoyed the pretty colors and along with my energy efficient red light bulb (which is remaining) - my place glowed like the red planet. Onlookers would stop and point, perhaps wondering what super cool person lived inside. Now I have to find some other way to get unwanted attention.

Anyway, yesterday I encountered something I've been dreading since putting up the Christmas lights - trying to put them back in the box. I do not know what kind of futuristic machine packs them into the box in the first place, but I do know I don't own one.

Here is Exhibit One:


Please take note of the clean lines of the box and the cockeyed mess that is the string of lights. Now I ask you, how in the hell is one suppose to make those lights fit into that box? And keep in mind I do not have a degree in engineering.... or patience for that matter.

Exhibit Two: Attempt One


It was obvious, early on here, that I was not going to win this battle. The box and string of pretty lights (costing $3.95 + tax) were going to get the better of me. I think this picture accurately captures my level of tolerance with such things.

Exhibit Three: Attempt Two


I am not one to give up so easily. In this picture I am trying to will the lights (mind meld) to fuse together with the box. Unfortunately, I am not any part Vulcan nor do I believe putting Christmas lights back into their original box is a possibility.So......

Exhibit Four: The Solution


The plastic bag - oh how I value thee.Yes, I may face an untangling of epic preportion next Christmas, but I don't have to think about that for like.....over 300 days, so who gives a crap - I WIN EVIL, yet pretty, CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!! I WIN!