MY Favorite Things: Version: CONDIMENTS

I do not watch Oprah. I swear I don’t. I do however, flick past her show every now and again just to see what/who is on her show. More specifically, I’m hoping to catch her ‘Favorite Things’ episodes. I don’t know why, so don’t ask. If I had to guess, I’d say it is because I have a thing for lists. I’m not admitting to my mental disorder, but I like making lists of no real importance.

Franks Red-Hot Chili & Lime Hot Sauce
If I had to describe this condiment in one word it would be: drinkable. I use it in soups, pastas and tuna melts. I put it on vegetables, onion rings, pizzas and salads. It has a wonderful kick but because of the infusion of lime, it won’t scorch your taste buds and ruin your meal. I’ve been known to keep a bottle in my glove compartment box. You just never know when you’re going to encounter bland food… or when you come across someone who owes you money. Pouring Franks Red-Hot Chili & Lime Hot Sauce into someone’s eye is a great way to persuade them to pay you back.

Organic Ketchup
I know what you’re thinking: “Ketchup is one of your favorite condiments? How incredibly depression era of you.” But I can’t deny my appreciation for what I refer to as “sexy sauce” any longer. Ketchup has always been there for me – like when I was growing up and our Mom would serve us dried up pieces of grey flavorless liver and I’d smother it in my red mistress so I wouldn’t have to look at it. Or when I’d make mashed potato volcanoes and ketchup was there to act as the lava. Hamburgers! Hot Dogs! Fish and Chips! Broccoli! How can we refute the greatness of ketchup when it compliments some of the best food ever created? Viva La Sexy Sauce!

Lemon Pepper
(I realize this is not a condiment, but I figured making a list of my favorite ‘seasonings’ would just be taking this too far.) Because I don’t really use salt, I tend to forget about pepper. Let’s be honest here, pepper is salt’s older, less attractive sibling. If it wasn’t for salt, people probably wouldn’t even know what pepper is. But mingle it with tiny shards of lemon zest and my mouth is inviting everyone to a party. Suddenly pepper just got all kinds of pretty.

Horseradish
Did I just hear a collective “Ewww” ? In Greek mythology this under-rated culinary wonder was worth its weight in gold, so who are we to say it sucks? Take some creamy horseradish, add freshly chopped parsley and spread it on the top of a piece of gorgeous salmon and bake it. If the end result doesn’t change your mind… well then YOU suck.