What Happened To Me?

I use to think people who had medicine cabinets full of products were vain, then the other day I opened my own medicine cabinet and was aghast when bottles, jars and other items fell out into the sink. When the hell did all this happen? When did I accumulate such products as hair wax, eyebrow plucker, triple moisturizing cream, over priced volumizing shampoo and over priced volumizing conditioner and over priced leave in volumizing spray, revitalizing eye gel, zinc and folic acid tablets and cranberry body butter? Is it age? Am I showing my age? Oh please don’t let it be that! Further thinking into this has made me realize I even have a daily routine. Oh shoot me now! A routine! The worst part about it is I have been doing it for some time now without even being conscious of it. In other words, it has been automatic. This is tragic because now I am one of them, one of YOU! I’ve always prided myself on not having a routine, except for needing a 20 minute drying off period between showering and getting dressed. I detest being damp and having to wear clothes. Maybe this just means I am taking better care of myself and instead of spending my hard earned money on drugs and alcohol I am buying complex vitamins and enriching hair masques. I use to just purchase a toothbrush, now I purchase this super duper tooth brush with a super comfortable grip handle and a head with 3 rows of angled pivoting specialized bristles and rubber massaging pads for gums and on the reverse side it has a super duper padded tongue scraper. It is the Rolls Royce of toothbrushes and I have no idea why I bought it. In fact, I have no idea when or how I purchased this thing. I use to sneak in low priced items into my friend’s shopping cart ($1 colorful sidewalk chalk, $1.50 horoscope scrolls) when we would go shopping together, then wait for the phone call when I got home and laugh my ass off as she bitched me out. Maybe the universe caught up with me when I wasn’t looking and slipped this $250,000 toothbrush in my shopping cart