You? Well....I Just Plain Don't Like You

When I work my long shifts (12 hours) I take a 3 hour dinner break in the early afternoon. It gives me a chance to cook and regain some sanity before having to return to reception to spread sunshine to the masses of ungrateful people. Since there are no other employees I close up reception, leave keys and directions for those who are already booked in with us and may arrive during my break, plus I set up a phone at reception so people wanting to book a room for the night can contact me. Basically it’s not a real break because I am still tied to the phone and can’t leave the property, I just don’t have to sit at reception like a bullseye and answer obvious questions.

Now, I know people would have no idea how long my shift is or the fact that I am the only real employee here (I have decided that The Crappensteins are merely figments of my over active imagination which is why nothing gets done when they are on shift) but a little understanding on their behalf is not too much to ask for. Hell, even I am sympathetic 90% of the time and most of the time I have no idea why.

I could go into great detail about all the times people have called me on the phone during my break to ask me to come over to reception and sell them a 50 cent packet of laundry soap or to come and rent them a DVD or to come and book them a bus trip, but I’ll spare you the grueling details. ‘Reception will re-open at 4:00pm’ is, I think, a pretty clear message. Of course, ‘Reception will re-open at 4:00pm so in the meantime you will have to fend for yourselves losers!’ would be far more affective but unfortunately not many people would find it as HILarious as I would.

So today I return from my break to discover that some Einstein has slapped one of the labels we make available in the kitchen for guests to label their food bags on the screen of the computer in the reception area. This is the computer guests can access 24/7 if they want to use the internet. Slapped! Right on the screen! Stuck on there! The label read ‘I Am Broken’. Sometimes, there is a disturbance in the air in Crappalvania and it makes the internet go down and the three fabulous TV channels flicker on and off. It is frustrating to say the least.
The appearance of that label on the screen made my blood boil. Let’s not even mention the fact that it took me ages to scrape it off the screen or the big permanent sticky mess it left behind. No, let’s not mention any of that nastiness. I’d rather concentrate on why anyone would find it not only necessary but also their given right to put the label on the screen. If the internet was down and this person lost their $2, they can come to me at 4pm and get a refund and some empathy. If the internet was down and they wanted to let others know, they could have put that label half a dozen other places where it would have been just as visible. Putting the label on the screen, to me, said ‘I am a jerk in every aspect of my life’, so I thought about the guests who were staying and which ones might fit that description and came up with one guy. Let me tell you something in all honesty, it is times like these that I DO NOT enjoy being right.

I had just tested to see if the internet was back online, which it was, when my number one suspect came strutting up to reception and asked if it was working. Here is the conversation that followed:

Me: are you the one who put the label on the screen?
Jerk: yes, the internet wasn’t working
Me: why did you put a STICKER on the screen?
Jerk: because it was broken and I lost my $2 and you were nowhere to be found
Me: so you put a STICKER on the screen?
Jerk: so what?
Me: did you not think about how difficult it would be to get the sticker off the screen or the mess it would leave behind?
Jerk: no, it’s not my computer
Me: that is so not cool
Jerk: well if you had been here there wouldn’t have been a need for me to do it
Me I am entitled to my break and I would like to think if people are capable enough to get themselves on a plane and fly half way around the world that they can think for themselves for three hours a day
Jerk: whatever, I want my $2 back
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

In my perfect world I would love to have SLAPPED a sticker on this jerk’s mouth reading ‘I Am A Plonker’ but as proven on a daily basis the world is not perfect….. So I had to settle for putting it on the bottom of his food bag.