9/11

Five years ago today I watched live on CNN as the second plane hit the World Trade Center. By the time I reached work the first tower had fallen and the news about the plane hitting the Pentagon and the one that crashed in Pennsylvania was all over the wire. It wasn’t long before we were all sent home as the office was closing. No business could or should be conducted on such a day.

For the rest of the day I watched the coverage on TV, unable to break away for even a minute in case something else happened. I refused to believe that what I was looking at was real. The sight of the towers collapsing made me feel sick, but it was the terrified looks on the faces of those searching for their loved ones that made me want to vomit.

My head felt….heavy. Do you know what I mean? My head had reached a point where I was no longer processing the images I was seeing. It was 10:00pm when I was able to finally turn off the TV. Once the silence seeped into my ears it happened. I broke down crying. No, I wept. Turning off the TV shut off my brain and now all I had left was the ache I felt in my heart.

The footage of the planes hitting the towers is to me what the footage of the assassination of JFK is to my parents. I will always remember where I was and I will always remember it as a tragedy of massive proportions. The events that took place on 9/11 will always remind me how fleeting life can be and just how human I really am, even though I deny it on a constant basis.