Happy New Year!

Yes, it is one of those “I am too lazy to detail out the recent happenings, so you get a bridged version and you’ll bloody well like it!” posts. But seriously, I worked a great deal this Christmas and quite honestly enjoyed it. It filled me with Christmas cheer and the other holiday gunk I missed last year because I was in Crappalvania.

So let’s see……

- I am happy to report I did NOT get black socks again from the family pets. This time around the fur faces went all out and got me a ‘one touch’ can opener. Yes, it’s true. This is an ingenious invention - http://www.onetouch-canopener.com/ and it makes me want to just open cans for the hell of it. I am tempted to offer my ‘one touch’ services to the other people in my building. Perhaps a poster in the lobby that reads “I offer ‘One Touch’ services – guaranteed to make you orgasm with amazement.”

- Christmas was most enjoyable this year. Good food, good friends, good family… good times good times. Proof I am expected to become a grown up soon: my Mom gave me a crock pot (crockus potius). Biggest surprise of the year: the bookstore I work for actually has a section on cooking with crock pots. I am intrigued with this apparatus, but not unfamiliar with it. My Mom has used hers ever since I was an ankle biter. She makes thick spaghetti sauces, hearty beef stews, meaty chili and other tasty culinary wonders in her crock pot. The crock pot has always been rather awe-inspiring and now I own one. I AM CROCK POT OWNER! HEAR ME CROCK!

- The bookstore has chosen to keep me on staff after my three month contract that ends at the end of this month. I never had any doubt, of course. I am too ghetto fabulous to not have around. I knew the moment I wanted the job that I would get it – spooky but very true. However, I am sad to see many of those people I came to enjoy so much get the boot. I bonded with a number of co workers with the same sense of humor and same twisted outlook on the job as me. It won’t be as much fun without them.
I have come across something else to keep me occupied on the job during slow periods and that is analyzing the seemingly strange work place dynamic. There is an interesting and often confusing mixture of people working there and at all times I can feel the underlying surge of what I can only describe as an amalgmation of estrogen (due to the mass quantities of females), tension, creativity, superiority, indifference, caffeine and complete bullshit. I am totally fascinated by what makes this place tick.

- What I Have Just Finished Reading: The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne.
Ok, if you’ve known me any real length of time you may not believe any of what I am going to ramble on about here. If you’ve known me any real length of time you already have previous knowledge of the fact I am not the most positive thinking person in the world and perhaps have always been somewhat of a negative nelly. Well those days are over with and have been for a good handful of weeks now.

For some time now I’ve been bombarded with requests that I watch this movie: http://www.whatthebleep.com/synopsis
I was lent a copy of the movie by a family member and one week after my 35th birthday, I decided to give in and finally watch it. The first 30 minutes was horrendously boring – I don’t find quantum physics exciting. But once I reached the section about Dr. Masaru Emoto’s ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masaru_Emoto ) experiments with water, I was hooked. This movie helped me to ‘see’ what I’ve been doing wrong; it helped me to realize how my thoughts can be destructive to my insides and my life.
I began to think more positively and be a more open and friendly person – the results were astonishing. People were actually coming up to me and saying “You are such a friendly and wonderful person, I adore you!” This made me feel good and the positive thoughts continued and so did the compliments. The movie assisted in changing my life.

In early December we had a large quantity of people rushing into the store asking for copies (I say copies because they were buying gifts for all their friends and family) of a book called, The Secret. I finally asked a customer about it and she raved on and on about how Ellen Degeneres talked about it on her show and how it changed her life. Apparently there was a DVD and now this book – which we could not keep on the shelves for even one day! I finally took the bait and picked up the book and began reading a few pages. Well everything I read made perfect sense and I found myself buying a copy that day. There are a few concepts in the book I feel are a little hokey, but the overall main theme of the book is about the law of attraction. Meaning: what you put out, you get back. If you think bad things, bad things will find you. If you think good things, good things will find you. Being grateful for what you have will attract more things into your life for you to be grateful for. Pretty logical stuff when you really think about it.

Don’t get me wrong, I will still be my witty self, but beneath the caustic remarks, beats the heart of a changed person…. because that is how I roll now.

- Okay, so I have my own ‘secret’ I need to share. I am most proud of this hidden gem and I am finally ready to let the world know – one of my favorite all time actors ever is…. Mr. Alec Baldwin, but only when he does comedy. Yes, it’s true. The first time I saw Alec on Saturday Night Live, I fell in love. He played Paul McCartney’s English butler and I nearly split my pants due to laughter. Now he is on a new sitcom called 30 Rock (with ex-SNL cast member/writer Tina Fey, who I think is an under rated comedic talent) and doing a brilliant job. He is once again on SNL tonight and I think he is pretty close or does hold the record for most times as host. Anyway – God bless you Alec Baldwin! You feckin’ rock!