The Best Excuse Yet

I hear many excuses from people as to why they have not checked out from the hostel by 10:00am: ‘We hit the snooze button’, ‘I didn’t know what time check out was’, ‘I was just about to leave’ and ‘My girlfriend is violently ill, we just need another 15 minutes’ to name a just a few. The other day I heard the number one excuse so far this year.

At 10:15am I went into one of the rooms and was aggravated to find all but one of the four guests had checked out. His stuff was still strewn all over the room and he was nowhere to be found. I determined he was in the washroom, the shower to be exact and I resisted the urge to repeatedly flush the toilets. I spotted him at 10:30am and gave him the evil eye (very effective by the way) and he ran up to me and said ‘Sorry I am checking out so late, I was shaving my head and it took longer than expected.’ This statement would not have had any impact on me if I had not seen him lazily loitering around the hostel at 8:30am. He finally got his shit together and checked out at 11:00am, apologizing as he wandered out the door like a dope. I wish Mr. and Mrs. Crappinstein would let me implement my idea of administrating IQ tests before we let anyone stay at the hostel.