I Love Sushi

The departure of The Crap American meant we had to get another employee (cleaner) for the hostel. Since the position is just strictly cleaning a few hours a day and nothing else it is difficult to get quality people to apply for the job. We always run the hostel one employee down. If you include the continuing fading interest of my bosses, Mr. and Mrs. Crappinstein, we actually run the hostel three employees down. With Rob gone we were running it four down, meaning it was me + one cleaner. I had informed The Crappinsteins of The Crap American’s New Year departure back in October, but I was told we were not going to panic just yet. Apparently November was not the time to panic either. December wasn’t the month to panic until Rob gave his two weeks notice on December 14. Now it was okay to be worried. This type of slothful behavior is typical of The Crappinsteins, but that is a tale for another time.

Just when I was ready to pull a midnight runner I received an email from a young Japanese guy who was interested in the position but was worried we would not hire him because his English wasn’t very good. I’ve become well versed in communicating with those who cannot speak English and if I may say so, my pantomime is of the highest quality. Not many people may know this, but I love the Japanese. I love their history, their culture, their food, their mannerisms and I love their work ethic. If I could have an entire hostel full of Japanese people I would be happy. They are polite and respectful and fun to communicate with. I can over look the fact that they tend to bathe themselves in the bathroom sinks by throwing water on themselves and therefore covering the counter and floors with water because everyone has a FEW faults that I can overlook. The English and their bloody obsession with cups of tea for instance. I’ve seen an English couple almost come to blows because one of them had packed the tea bags at the bottom of their over stuffed backpack and it was time for a ‘cuppa’. I had to give them four tea bags from our supply just to stop them from bickering. The Germans and their obsession with time is another. I run reception by the clock in the hostel, not by the time set by the German Organization of World Time Keepers. Tapping on your watch will only make me move much MUCH slower.

Anyway, I offered the job to this young Japanese guy, Esa, and he accepted but told me he may only be able to stay for one month because he likes to move around and see the country. I was desperate and didn’t care and neither did The Crappinsteins because it meant they could go on pretending like they actually did some work without having to actually do any.

I am very happy to report that Esa is not only a diligent worker, but also a friendly and endearing young man. He makes me laugh because he giggles like a pixie. It is a high pitched very melodious giggle, one that you might make if you were embarrassed and your bladder was full. He asked me if it was okay if he didn’t wear shoes while he worked, keeping with the Japanese tradition of not wearing shoes inside, and I told him ‘whatever floats your boat Esa’ forgetting he has no idea about stupid sayings like that. He asked me “what my boat?” and instead of breaking into a huge pantomime routine that included a rubber ducky and a pail of water, I just said ‘YES OKAY’. I have this bad habit of talking loudly to those who can’t really understand me. I know I know, it’s retarded but I can’t stop myself. I talk loudly and slowly: I NEED YOU TO CLEAN THE BATHROOM AND MOP THE FLOOR. *insert pantomime here of mopping motion* I’m sure they realize I am not well. Crazy Lady translates very well into any language.

I always try to learn a few words of Japanese each time someone from Japan stays at the hostel. It is rather embarrassing to watch I would imagine; seeing me constantly mispronounce those delicate Japanese characters. But the Japanese always thank me for trying and then we engage in five minutes of bowing to each other. I have this bad habit of gushing about my love for sushi and how I could survive on just that. I know what they must be thinking, so God bless the Japanese for having not only respect for other people but also the inner strength not to make fun of me because it would be SO easy.