Five Things I Have Learnt In The Past Year

1. I have a ‘cow lick’

The internet site: http://www.bartleby.com/ describes a cow lick as: A tuft of hair on the human forehead, sometimes called a feather; it cannot be made to lie in the same direction as the rest of the hair by brushing.
I describe my cow lick as: The piece of hair that will one day be shaven off by me in a vicious fit of rage while trying to style the lion’s mane that sits atop my fat head.
When my hair cutting person informed me I had a cow lick I actually had to look up the term because I had no idea what it was and did not want to ask. I like to appear as if I know everything. (SIDE NOTE: I also had to look up the term camel toe and I am not afraid to admit it. For more information on this lovely bit of slang: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cameltoe)

2. Everyone Has Dimples On Their Ass At Some Point In Their Life And Mine Are Not Special

This was devastating to find out. I don’t particularly have affection for the dimples on my ass but it WAS something I thought I could hold over the rest of the cruel world. Now, as it turns out, I’m not so unique. Pull the pants down of the third person you see today and chances are they have a dimpled ass.

3. Two Wrongs Don’t Make A Right, But Being Right ALL The Time Is Overrated

You must have the devil in you to succeed in the arts.

Voltaire

4. My Family Is Crazy And I Actually Like Them This Way

For my final exam in Grade 12 English I had to write an essay on one of three topics:
1. Animals
2. Family
3. The Future

I felt the subject of animals was not only a little juvenile but also a trick thrown in to see who would take the silliest topic. I was 17 and my only thoughts of the future were what I would be doing after this stupid test so I was left with the most appropriate topic, family. I began with what runs through the mind of a baby when surrounded by a bunch of goggle eyed gapers who think they resemble the child far more than Aunt Beatrice (God bless her soul). Now to be perfectly honest with you, I am fairly unclear where I went from there, but I do know I received an A- and kudos from my crazy haired teacher Mrs. Genus (I never believed the rumors that you were once a 50’s playmate). I am pretty sure I used my family as a basis for the rest of that essay and have just blocked it out for some reason.

ANYWAY, as the years pile up on me I have come to appreciate the quirky nature of my family members, even those not related by blood who have stumbled blindly into the loveable obliquity. Having spent a number of years away from them has given me a wider perspective on who they are as people and not just those individuals who make me want to remove my hair at the root. I not only love them but I like them most of the time too.

5. My Taste In Music Is Either Evolving Or Disintegrating

The Crap American (see archives) once told me about a quote by some writer who was commenting on his changing behavior in purchasing music. This writer discovered that in his early 30’s he was buying less CD’s and was becoming disillusioned with current music. In other words, he was falling out of touch.

I have always considered myself a bit of a music snob and my dislike for country music is now well documented (except for The Dixie Chicks and Johnny Cash). I have a rather large collection of CD’s. There are some CDs I treat as gold, like Pearl Jam’s Ten, Led Zeppelin IV (“untitled”), The Smashing Pumpkins’ Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, Black Sabbath’s Paranoid, Radiohead’s The Bends and anything by Tool or The Doors. And of course there are some CDs I wish I had never purchased because their hit factor stopped at one and well….. the ownership of these CDs is rather embarrassing.

I have found myself turning towards older music lately because I can barely tell the difference between one song and the next on the radio these days. I am hoping this means I am becoming more cool rather than old and stale. In the past week I have gathered together a tidy collection of songs that are now on repeat in the stereo:

Iron Maiden – Run to the Hills
KISS – I Was Made For Loving You
Velvet Underground – Heroin
When In Rome – The Promise
Snoop Dogg & Dr. Dre – Gin and Juice
The Smiths – Unhappy Birthday
Sex Pistols – Pretty Vacant
OMD – If You Leave

Just to name a few.
So this makes me wonder if am evolving and appreciating more types of music or is my taste slowly evaporating.
I’m sure someone will let me know.